I recently saw this Piper video where he answers the question: What is a wife's responsibility in resolving conflict in marriage?
I thought it was a great response. Sometimes when Adam and I have a problem or a fight I will sulk and think in my heart, I'm gonna stay this way until Adam comes over and apologizes and in the mean time I'm gonna make him feel as bad as possible. It doesn't get our marriage very far when I have that attitude and it doesn't preach the gospel inside of our marriage when I behave that way. I know it's a wrong attitude but I will let it happen because it feels good to be mad in the moment. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit goes to work and convicts me and as Adam knows - I can't stay mad. Sometimes I try hard to stay mad, but I can't. I want to do my best to reach out in love even when my feelings are hurt or when I want to pout on the couch. I know the right thing to do, and when I watched this video it compelled me and encouraged me to keep moving forward. Without fail, what I hear in my conscience is: "Do unto Adam what you would want him to do to you." I would want Adam to come apologize and give me a great big comforting hug. So biblically, I know, I need to do that right away.
As a disclaimer, I would like to just say that Adam and I have a great marriage and I love him to pieces.